Exactly 28 days after the September Achievers Business Club (ABC) affair was moved due to the double assault of Typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng in week 4 of September, the ABC seminar can now be recorded in our church history as the biggest adult gathering where love and sweet moments slowly but inevitably took sole possession of the romantic night.

Way past the 10:00 o’clock mark that passionate night of October 28, couples danced in sweet embrace swept away by the acoustic vocalists taking turns to render their best remakes of the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and contemporary love hits.

In the clear shadows of subdued light, couples can be heard whispering endearing words to each other as if recounting their 1^st dance and 1^st “I love you’s” and renewing their vows of original love state with bravado or in defiance of the whole world.  Others enjoyed doing dance instruction lessons at change over music.  Those seated gave encouraging thumbs-up to visitors slowly towing their partners to join the already thick crowd on the dance floor.  I guess they were all worked up and carried away by Bishop Luis R. Santos’ most romantic preaching on record.  Even Sister Leslie was caught into the moment that she even embolden timid couples to break the tentative inhibitions.

Pastor Louie rolled out the ABC seminar with a list of many things to remember about love affairs:

• Remember where and when you met your spouse
• Remember your 1^st date
• Remember the moment when you 1^st whispered “I love you”
• Remember the day when you 1^st heard your spouse say “I love you”
• Remember your wedding day
• Remember your wedding vow
• Remember when you had your 1^st baby

There are many more romantic moments that couples ought to remember in their relationship time zone.  Love affairs that touch the heart… rekindling what to them was the most endearing past… spawning the beginning of new found romance… far more exhilarating than the day they 1st set eyes on each other.

Then comes the dreaded 1^st quarrel… the beginning of agony… compatibility issues… strengths and weaknesses debates… who’s who arguments… threatening the still brittle love affair… portending the end of what could have been an endless romantic utopia.

While saying “goodbye” is equally a common love story ending, love affairs need not die in heart-rending regrets and irreverent bitterness if only couples can be spiritually guided on the “how to’s” of handling the whole issue of personality compatibility.  To start with, Bishop Luis emphatically clarified that there never was and there never will be such thing as compatibility.  “Compatibility is next to impossibility", he asserted.  Couples have to work hard to seek the common thread and to stay in a common groove in order to give their love story a decent or better yet a first-rate ending.  To this everybody agreed in symphony.  Personally, the compatibility challenge hits me more as an exciting sliding door moment.  I prefer that my partner never should in all counts be a dead giveaway but not totally unpredictable either.  It keeps the whole love affair spice in the rack.  Everybody just loves spice.

Taken from Ephesians 5:22-27, the sanctity or the inviolability of the marriage vow may only survive with the deliberate rather than just random confluence of:

• Wives submitting to their husbands in everything as Christ is the Head of the Church; and
• Husbands loving their wives like their own bodies just as Christ loved the Church and gave his life for her.

Of course there is more to this than meets the eye when issues of compatibility is argued upon by couples, not in the context of “strength” though but rather in the context of “weakness” being the undesirable trait that either party should be willing to both accept and handle.

Acceptance as a matter of approach to the compatibility issue may just be a breeze.  But how to handle the weaknesses of your spouse is the more harrowing question that will torment and haunt many lovers who struggle to save the marriage especially:

• when marital reconciliation ranks 9^th in stress level of the Holmes-Rahe Social Re-adjustment Rating Scale (survey) carrying a stress number value of 45 out of 100 percentage points;
• where divorce and separation rank 2^nd and 3^rd carrying 73 and 65 percentage points respectively.

The thought alone is so distressing but could very well be the defining moment to save the dying embers of a love affair turned sour.  Is saving the marriage therefore worth the whole exercise?  With the above stress figures, believe me, it’s well worth all the treasures in this world!

Bishop Luis tells us how Jesus Himself took center stage to show us that it is worth dying for.  The Bible embodies how weakness of a spouse can be handled thru:

• sympathy and respect for the wife being the weaker partner (Hebrews 4:15 and I Peter 3:7) followed by,
• gentle restoration of the wife from sin by the husband as high priest of the family (Hebrews 5:1-2 and Galatians 6:1).

When compassion and understanding fill in the gap as the major components of sympathy; and spiritual burden as a component of gentle restoration from sin, handling weakness then merely becomes “business as usual” as opposed to it being a “larger than life” struggle to keep the harmony in the marriage.  Treating our partner the way Jesus as Groom treats His bride, the Church, is the fitting prescription to a winning relationship especially on occasions when things seem to be falling apart.

Weaknesses such as chattiness, wastefulness, or overindulgence may be intolerable based on a man’s standards but these are merely gender related weaknesses embedded into many women which men ought to understand rather than hate with impunity.  Husbands in the same vein are vulnerable to biological or gender related weaknesses as well.  These are far more detestable but wives forgive them anyway because they understand.  Understanding is indeed a heroic woman trait.  But it should work both ways to make a successful marriage.  It may not be easy for the husband to accept these terms but it is worth all the time and effort considering what couples have already invested into the marriage and the troubles they have endured.  Nurturing a relationship back into its original love state requires greater effort though.  But with greater effort comes the greater reward of inimitable romance and endless bliss.  Enough reason to carry on?  Maybe more than what one can bear for now.

Incidentally, marriage ranks 7^th in stress level with 50 points, outgunning marital reconciliation by 5 percentage points.  So, will a separation be worth it or not?  Better tire yourself up by thinking a zillion times over before jumping into any parting decision.  Otherwise, take the toll of subsequent marriages.  This kind of stress can kill, so why bother?  By the way, death of spouse ranks #1 in the stress survey with 100 points.

How do you ultimately preserve the gift of marriage beyond sympathy and restoration?  Bishop Luis offers a simple but delectable recipe found in the story of Priscilla and Aquila in Acts 18:24-26 and Romans 16:3-5.  The said business inclined couple scaled up their Biblical relevance as workers of God and had eagerly used their home for this purpose.  As a result, their leader, St. Paul and their church became grateful and in effect, the couple had most definitely pleased God.  Did they live happily ever after?  The Bible had no disclosure of any severance between them.  This could well be their lavish reward aside from their successful business.

When compatibility issues cross your mind, just remember the Priscilla and Aquila love affair.  Remember their love story of serving God together and have it as your gateway to a blissful and lasting romance.  And don’t forget, you only heard it all from “An Affair to Remember in October“.

Come join us for more exciting revelations on the next ABC seminar come November 25, 7:00pm at Quezon City Sports Club.  May this become your monthly affair to remember with your spouse, friends, and business associates.